Engineers – An Owner’s Manual.

If you are in a relationship with, or thinking about embarking on a relationship with an engineer, you may find this owner’s manual useful.

Image courtesy of stockimages at

Image courtesy of stockimages at

  1. Engineers are great at fixing things. And breaking things.
  2. Out of the box, your engineer will have a unique list of items they can fix and items they can break. It is very rare to find an item on both lists. If this does occur, please return your engineer so this bug can be fixed.
  3. To get the most out of your relationship with your engineer, you will need to put in some effort. It may take several, or even many years to develop your engineer to your satisfaction. Remember, an engineer is for life, not just for Christmas.
  4. You may wish to lengthen the list of things your engineer can fix. This will happen over time with nagging gentle encouragement.
  5. It is important that in adding to the list of items that can be fixed by your engineer, you do not have expectations about the methods employed in fixing items. Whilst you may think there is a straightforward method to fix the item you should not try to tell them how to do it deter your engineer from employing a range of circuitous routes and unnecessary technology. This may result in a complete breakdown in the relationship with your engineer.
  6. You will almost certainly wish to reduce the list of items that can be broken by your engineer, or at the very least, add as many of them as possible to the “fixable” list.  
    (a) The latter can be achieved by constant nagging gentle coaxing to revisit the item to rebuild it to its former glory. If this does not have the desired results, you may like to try the more extreme “get back in there and don’t come out until it is sorted” method of encouragement. If all else fails, removal of privileges may achieve your aims.  
    (b) It should be noted that it may be necessary, on some, more or all occasions,  to regard the response “I’ll buy a new one” as a success in training your engineer to clean up their own mess fix items broken by them.
    (c) it has not yet proved possible to reduce the list of items that your engineer can break. This may become possible in a future software update. Don’t hold your breath.

We would like to take this opportunity to wish you many happy years with your engineer.

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