So a Funny Thing Happened in Asda

and by funny I mean a bit weird and creepy.

I just popped out for a few bits that we needed. As I walking through the store, I noticed a man who was a bit odd-looking. There was nothing you could point at as being odd, but he just stood out a bit. I thought nothing of it, and carried on with my shopping.

Whilst I was looking at the Free From range, trying to find the soy sauce and as-difficult-to-find-as-the-Holy-Grail products we crave, he appeared again. Right next to me. Not overly close, but next to me.

“Alright love?”, he said

“Yes thanks”, I replied quietly, looking up briefly before I carried on looking for my soy sauce.

“Shopping for the family, are you?”, he continued.

I gave a very slight smile, not meeting his eye this time, in a way I hope conveyed a “I don’t want to get into a conversation with you but I am trying not to be rude” vibe.

He reminded me a bit of Mr Strange, one of Hugh Dennis' characters from The Mary Whitehouse Experience. "Milky, milky"

He reminded me a bit of Mr Strange, one of Hugh Dennis’ characters from The Mary Whitehouse Experience. “Milky, milky”

It clearly didn’t work, because he carried on, this time stumbling over his question.

“I’m surprised you’re not … shouldn’t you be …. aren’t you … umm… I expect you’ll be getting your fella’s tea on soon won’t you?”

This time I steadfastly ignored him and turned away slightly. He left. Phew.

I found the soy sauce (the last bottle on the shelf, which had clearly been hiding when I could have done with it waving a banner) and moved on.

I went to get bread. By the time I picked up the first loaf, he had appeared in the isle. I skipped several isles and grabbed a box of tea bags. There he was again.

At this point, I decided that whatever else I had come in for that I hadn’t already picked up was not an immediate need and went to check out. I didn’t see him again.

Maybe he was completely harmless, but it made me feel creeped out. And a little bit vulnerable.


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One comment on “So a Funny Thing Happened in Asda

  1. That would definitely creeped me out, too. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut.

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