Let’s Talk SepAnx

Separation Anxiety.  Do all children go through it?

sepanxPK is going through it. Big time.  I know both Bean and Plum went through it, but I’m pretty sure they were both younger than PK is. PK is 14 months old now and his separation anxiety is getting difficult to cope with. If he can have free access to me, then unless he is tired or hungry, he will happily play with his toys. If we’re in the same room but he can’t have access to me for some reason, then he gets upset. He can be happy as can be, but if I leave the room – even to go to the kitchen, where he can see me, but I’m on the other side of the baby gate – he screams and screams. If I leave the house though, he tends to be OK.

I know it’s completely normal for children to have separation anxiety but I’d be really interested in knowing whether anyone has any tips to help us all get through this. We don’t do CIO etc, so seeing him so upset at times when I actually can’t pick him up and give him a cuddle is so hard.  It’s not like he’s even left without someone he knows well – when I leave the room, he’s with his father, Stonelaughter, and usually, his brother and sister too. I don’t remember it being this much of an issue with Bean and Plum.

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6 comments on “Let’s Talk SepAnx

  1. Um…. (a) if you leave the house and he knows, he’s absolutely NOT OK. Absolutely nothing I can do to help, either; I have to just wait until he stops. If you’re not here already when he wakes up, he’s fine.

    (ii) Bean was terrible too.

    (3) When you leave and he’s bad, if I pick him up to cuddle, he fights me so I have to put him down.

    • oh, blimey. It’s worse than I thought. I’m torn between leaving him with you more often so he gets used to it, or stop altogether so he isn’t upset.

  2. I thinks different kids will go this at different ages it all depends on their personality. I would just reassure him you are nearby and maybe keep talking to him if you need to be in the kitchen but he can see you assuring him you are nearby.

  3. My two both went through this, my youngest still is at three. He hates being left at preschool. I work from home and I think he’s just so used to be around that the thought of me leaving fills him with fear. Apparently once I’ve gone and he’s distracted he’s fine until it’s time for me to collect him again. Reassurance and distraction I would say. Good luck.

  4. I think sometimes they know when you’re just out the room and when you’re gone out the house. It’s lovely he misses you so much. I think if he didn’t you’d be a bit heart-broken x

  5. Two thoughts that I found helpful during especially clingy phases:-
    “Fulfill the need, and the need goes away” …..eventually!
    “This too shall pass”

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