The (Whiney) Voice


Ahh, it’s that time of year again – the start of the run of talent shows that will take us right up to Christmas. And kicking them off was The Voice.

Do you watch The Voice? We do. Bean loves it. He likes trying to guess who will turn round, which judge will be picked. And he quite likes Jessie J too. I, on the other hand, do not. Her music doesn’t do a lot for me, but at the beginning of the first series, I had a grudging respect for her, having been successful enough to be asked to be a judge. That respect has gone.

jessiej

Nothing to offer but oestrogen. Apparently.

Jessie J appears to be playing with a stacked deck. She appears to have an over abundance of the Gender Card and she is not afraid to use it. Even her fellow judges have started rolling their eyes when she mentions it now. Every time she is up against another judge for a female act she pulls “they don’t know what it’s like to stand on that stage as a woman”. Well, no they don’t. So what? They also don’t know what it is like to stand on that stage as any of the acts, and neither do you Dear Jessie.

I can’t decide if she is insecure about her ability to be a good coach, insecure about how she measures up against the others, or whether she genuinely thinks it’s harder for a women to stand on stage than a man. Whatever the case, it does her, and the acts she says it to, no credit at all. Every time she does it, I feel the clock ticking backwards just a little bit. And she does it a lot. At least twice a show by my calculation. If she really feels she has nothing to offer as a mentor other than the fact she possesses ovaries, then perhaps she should move aside for someone more qualified. If, on the other hand, she has a lot to offer the right acts (as I suspect she does), then she should concentrate on that and leave gender out of it. Otherwise where do we go from there? Should Will play the race card? Tom play the Welsh card? The experience card? Should Danny pitch for every Irish act because “they don’t know what it’s like to stand on that stage when you’re from Dublin”?

Oh, and while we’re at it, can the production team please keep her in her chair? Instead of going to hug every female act who didn’t go through and telling them they were great, she could do something more productive – if they are really, really great, press the button. If they’re not, give them constructive criticism. And stay in the flippin’ chair!

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