Playing the Weighting Game
When I look back at being a first time Mum, and a second time Mum, I think that I was probably, quite relaxed about things. Not about everything, and not to say that I didn’t worry constantly about this life that I had responsibility for, but there were some things that I didn’t worry about. Either time.
For instance, I didn’t get my son weighed after the first couple of months, and I didn’t get my daughter weighed after the first month. I knew they were putting on weight and were healthy, so I just got on with things. I imagined I would be the same this time.
Which is why I find it so strange to be constantly worrying about our new baby’s weight. To be, eleven weeks into this new life, still tracking his weight weekly. I would never have imagined we would be doing that. But we are. And with good cause.
His weight gain is still so tentative. He makes huge gains one week and then drops the next. Or make good gains one next and then gains a little, but not enough to keep up the growth curve. Which is where we are now.
When I last had him weighed, he had gained 2 oz. But that wasn’t great news. He’s still on formula supplements and he’s on them to make sure he gains sufficient weight each week. So when he doesn’t, it feels like a slap in the face. It feels like all the effort I’ve made to keep up breastfeeding has been for nothing. It hurts.
So thank goodness for my HV, who chatted with me, gauged how I was feeling, helped me put a plan in place. And, when I suggested that plan should be to give in and switch to formula completely, told me off, and told me we hadn’t come this far to give up now. Not that she was bullying, but because she knows me. She was my HV for each of the other two, and she knows how important breastfeeding is to me. So she knew that when I said I might just give up, I was being petulant, and she knew I just needed a bit of a rant,and then a little kick up the bum to put a proper plan in place.
But still. I’m sick of this game. I’m sick of worrying like this. It shouldn’t be this hard. And I can’t help but think it wouldn’t have been this hard if the NHS had enough people trained to notice and treat posterior tongue tie. Without that issue, we would have been breastfeeding properly from the start. With that issue, we had problems that do not have a quick fix. No-one in our County is trained to release posterior tongue tie. I think we were lucky that there was someone we had access to who recognised it. It shouldn’t be that way, and I want to do something about it. I don’t know what yet, but watch this space.